Marlon Gattiker: You have lived with HIV since you were born. When did you become aware of it?

Melanie Öztürk: My first memory is from the Children's Hospital in Zurich. It was in the 1990s, when I was five years old. At that time, I realized that I had something serious. I had a port (an access point for infusions, editor’s note) and was often very sick, like with pneumonia. I experienced a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally.

Marlon: Who supported you during that difficult time?

Melanie: Honestly, without my foster mother, I wouldn’t have survived! My mother died of AIDS and my father, unfortunately, was not able to take care of me. That’s why I grew up in a foster family, and my foster mother was a great support.

Marlon: What was life like in your foster family?

Melanie: I grew up on a farm in the Tösstal. The foster family also had two sons, who are like brothers to me – I don’t make any distinction. My relationship with my foster family was very good, and even today I still have regular contact with them.

Marlon: What was your experience like at school?

Melanie: Unfortunately, I had negative experiences during my childhood. My foster mother was always very open about my infection. She never used the word HIV, but spoke of "immune deficiency" or "infectious disease." She told the teachers that I was living with HIV and had to go to the hospital often. This got around. And when a friend organized a pool party for her birthday, her mother didn’t want me to come – out of fear that I might infect others.

Marlon: How did you react to this situation? What did it make you feel?

Melanie: It made me very angry. To make such a decision without informing yourself seemed unbelievable to me. I was only eight years old, and it was anything but easy for me.

Marlon: Then you grew older, puberty came. How did your HIV status shape your adolescence?

Melanie: Since I was little, I was taught to be open about my HIV status. However, I do select who I tell. Unfortunately, at first, when I went on dates, I experienced rejection from some men.

Marlon: Were they specific types of men, or is this a general impression?

Melanie: A general impression. We were still young, 15 or 16 years old, and at school, we didn’t talk about HIV.

Marlon: Were there any positive experiences in dating that encouraged you?

Melanie: Yes! With my first boyfriend. I met him when I was twenty. I told him about my diagnosis, and his reaction was: "So what? That doesn’t matter at all – I accept you as you are."

Marlon: Could you briefly walk us through that moment when you told him about your status?

Melanie: It was quite spontaneous. I felt that the right moment had come. I said to my boyfriend: "I wanted to talk about something with you." I told him: "I live with HIV, does it matter to you?" He said, for him, it was absolutely no problem, and he hugged me.

Marlon: Did your boyfriend already have knowledge about HIV? For example, regarding HIV's non-transmissibility with effective therapy. By the time you told him, the Swiss Statement* had already been published.

Melanie: Now I realize that the Swiss Statement wasn’t as well-known at that time, and he didn’t know about it. I think, in general, heterosexuals talk more about pregnancy than about sexually transmitted infections. But my first boyfriend, with whom I was in a relationship for seven years, showed me that there are wonderful men who approach this topic without prejudice.

Marlon: Let’s change the topic. How do you handle your HIV status at work?

Melanie: It’s always a matter of balance. When I meet new people, I get a sense of it and then decide. For example, my former trainer knows. Because I have a very close relationship with her.

Marlon: What would your message be to other people who live with HIV and perhaps haven’t told anyone yet?

Melanie: A difficult question! I had to learn it too. My motto is always: Be honest, be open when you’re ready. If someone doesn’t accept you as you are, they don’t belong in your life. In general, I would encourage people to make experiences, even if it sometimes hurts. But even negative experiences help you grow.

Marlon: Your father’s family is of Turkish descent. Have you noticed any cultural differences in how HIV is dealt with?

Melanie: I already had a scar on my collarbone from the port. And every time someone came over and asked what the port was for, my grandmother would say, "Just say you have cancer." I find it incredible that cancer is minimized compared to HIV. In Turkish culture, HIV is often a taboo. When the topic of marriage came up, some members of my family told me to hide my HIV status.

Marlon: Have you noticed a change in the way people perceive HIV over the course of your life?

Melanie: In my opinion, a lot has changed in the last twenty years. There has been a lot of awareness-raising work, especially by AIDS-Hilfe Schweiz. People are more informed now.

Marlon: What’s still missing? What do you wish for?

Melanie: That discrimination in the healthcare system ends. I see a lot of problems there. Recently, I went to the dentist for a cleaning. I was given a form to fill out asking if I had other illnesses. I wrote that I live with HIV. The dentist said, "You also marked diabetes." I said no. Then she said, "Wait a moment." The waiting room was in the middle of all the treatment rooms. And then she shouted across all the rooms to the reception: "No, it’s not diabetes, it’s worse, it’s HIV!" I said, "I want to stop this," and walked out.

Marlon: As a child, you had serious health issues. How do you feel today?

Melanie: I am currently in therapy, mainly to process the difficult time I had as a child in the hospital. But otherwise, I’m doing very well – I haven’t suffered any irreversible damage, I have a great support system, and I feel good!

Marlon: Do you stay in contact with other people who live with HIV?

Melanie: I was once part of a group called Youth+. Unfortunately, this group no longer exists due to financial reasons. I don’t have contact with those people anymore, which is really a shame. It was really a protected world, a self-support group. You could share without being discriminated against.

Marlon: What do you think is important for people who receive a new diagnosis?

Melanie: It’s very important not to be alone. If I were to give advice, it would be to find people with whom you feel comfortable and talk to them. That helps a lot.

*The Swiss Statement is a declaration from the Federal Commission for AIDS Issues (EKAF, now EKSI) from 2008 stating that HIV cannot be transmitted with effective therapy.